Bhutan Phalluses: An Insider’s Look at C*ck Crazed Bhutan

It’s dicks out in the conservative country of Bhutan to aid in fertility, ward off evil spirits, and dispel malicious gossip— though Anthony Weiner might disagree.

Now, we’re not suggesting you actually whip it out the next time you visit the Chimi Lhakhang monastery near Punakha (Bhutan’s old capital), but certainly don’t come if graphic, historic phalluses make you nauseous.

The monastery, famous for its hairy, spewing paintings, was built in honor of Lama Drukpa Kunley, who lived sometime between the 15th and 16th century

Who is This Lama D?

Popularly known as Divine Madman or Mad Saint, Lama Drukpa Kunley, was a Tibetan monk who arrived in Bhutan to spread the teachings of Buddha around the 15th or 16th century. Buddhism first arrived in the rugged region sometime in the 8th century.

It was Lama D’s unconventional way of teaching Buddhism to the masses by using shock, sarcasm, and outrageous methods—often with sexual undertones—that allowed him to garner such insane nicknames while simultaneously being revered.

These were not acts that would be simply shocking people of the Middle Ages. These are the sort of things that would make headlines even today. Lama D was known for offering his testicles to another famous Lama, stripping down naked in public, and urinating on sacred thangkas (paintings that depict a Buddhist scene, deity, or mandala). Because of his reputation, he’s easy to spot in Bhutanese paintings (they aren’t all full of phalluses) because he’s inevitably the one Buddhist monk wandering around topless.

This is the man who is quoted as saying: “Happiness lies below the navel,” and “The best wine lies at the bottom of the pail.”

Allegedly, this advice of his – which you really can’t argue with – simplifies Tantric Buddhism.

It should probably be mentioned that Lama D remains one of Bhutan’s most revered masters.

So What’s the Big D*** About This?

As you already know, the symbol of a throbbing hard c*ck is said in Bhutan to aid in fertility, ward off evil spirits, and dispel malicious gossip.

It should be no surprise that Lama Drukpa Kunley–who allegedly could awaken unenlightened beings with his “thunderbolt”—was a major influence in developing a culture where they believe that the phallus is capable of warding off demonesses.

It turns out that the spear the man packed between his legs was of legendary status. Yes, like most guys, he named it or got it named after him. And no, it wasn’t “Princess”—his was a dick that can be used to battle demonesses. It was named “The Thunderbolt of Flaming Wisdom,” which really rifts on the whole carnal knowledge thing if you think about it.

But the dick-man wasn’t all about battling it out with his, well, you know, out. He also carried around a wood and ivory version of the phallus and would bop women on the head with the 10-inch tool as a form of fertility blessing. Though that might get you written up for sexual assault here in the western world, it turns out that the women of Bhutan still welcome the blessed c*ck bop today.

Many couples still come to Chimi Lhakhang monastery for fertility. And, if they are blessed with children, some will name them after Lama Drukpa Kunley.

bhutan phalluses


bhutan phalluses


Get Your Blessings At Chimi Lhakhang Temple

The temple was not built by Lama Drukpa Kunley—he comes across as a busy man without temple building projects. It was, in fact, erected (hehe) by his cousin to honor Lama D’s battle with a demon-shaped dog.

As legend would have it, the four-legged demon by the name of Loro Deum was terrorizing people on both sides of Dochula Pass, making it difficult for them to cross. Lama Drukpa Kunley – who no doubt whipped out The Thunderbolt of Flaming Wisdom – trapped the demon in a black Chorten stupa, outside the temple building.

The name of the temple commemorates the battle. It roughly translates to No Dog Temple.

Another fable recounts how Lama Drukpa Kunley shot an arrow from Tibet (which isn’t that far from Bhutan) to choose a site to expound his teachings. The arrow landed above where the temple of fertility stands today. While he was looking for his arrow (for once, not a metaphor for his mighty thunderbolt), he stumbled across the altar room of a girl named Pelsang Buti. And it was here, of course, where he found his arrow. Pleased with the young woman’s devotion, he spent the night with her, blessing her with a child.

The primary relics worshiped at this temple are the two 10-inch phallic tools he used to bop women on the head, as well as his bow and arrow. After all, archery is a way of life in Bhutan.

bhutan phalluses

Chimi Lhakhang Temple (source)

bhutan phalluses

(image source)

New Kids on The Block Digging Some Old…

Though it’s not necessary to paint a sturdy shaft and hairy sack on your house for protection from evil spirits, the ancient symbol is back in vogue with a new generation. Young artists wishing to preserve the rich narratives, lessons, stories, and the phallus as a tool for religion, are painting, writing books, and making movies to engage this aspect of their culture.

A young Bhutanese female wrote the book, Phallus: Crazy Wisdom from Bhutan.

“I not only saw phalluses of all kinds — from one village to the other — but I found the stories behind its symbolism equally intriguing,” said the author, Karma Choden, told the Huffington Post. “It is like a new art form is found. We are now giving our own spin to spirituality, culture, and ritual.”

Let it All Hang Out at the Bhutan Phallus Festivals

There are two major phallus festivals in Bhutan, which can be double-trouble for travelers. In the west, they celebrate Lhabon – the calling of the gods. The primary aspect of the celebration is a community erecting a sacred ladder with its edges shaped like—yeah, you got it… The faithful believe that deities will descend on a rope tied to the ladder and will bless them with prosperity and good health.

In the east, they celebrate an ancient festival called Wayo, which promotes people shedding sexual inhibitions. During the festival, symbols and images of male and female genitals are used and comely verses filled with sexual innuendos are recited.

If you’re looking for the perfect attire for the occasion, consider our Weener Germany tank tops.

Here’s the Unisex/Men’s Weener Germany Tank Top:

weener germany

And the Woman’s Weener Germany Tank Top:

weener germany

Bhutan Phalluses: An Insider’s Look at C*ck Crazed Bhutan

Phalluses can be found in African art and Asian art—really, they can be found in art all around the world. However, you got to get yourself to Bhutan to see how an entire culture embraces this throbbing symbol of fertility. These people have a grip on it that most of the world could probably learn from.

For more phallic fun, check out our guide to Weener Germany, and our complete list of funny city names around the world.

Pin it for later:

bhutan phalluses

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *